


Dixit Dominus

by effanineffableplans (Dawn_Blossom)



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Aziraphale has -not- watched The Sound of Music, Aziraphale only cares about Crowley tbh, Crowley has watched The Sound of Music more times than he would like to admit, Crowley tells them to go away, Heaven apologizes, M/M, part crackfic, part stunned realization that there are legit good omens and sound of music parallels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-30
Updated: 2019-07-30
Packaged: 2020-07-27 06:09:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20041171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dawn_Blossom/pseuds/effanineffableplans
Summary: "Are we the Nazis, Gabriel?"The Sound of Musichits a little differently in light of the events surrounding the failed apocalypse. Gabriel, Uriel, Michael, and Sandalphon come to Earth to apologize to Aziraphale. Only, their idea of an apology is to sing "Climb Ev'ry Mountain" to him.





	Dixit Dominus

**Author's Note:**

> God at all times: I love Aziraphale  
The Metatron, squinting: um… “Isle of zero fail???”  
Gabriel: great news everyone, the Almighty wants a new vacation spot  
God: oh why did I kick all of my smart children out of the house
> 
> Okay, but seriously... Does anyone else feel like the whole Sound of Music thing was a very significant statement on God's part, but unfortunately absolutely no one understood it?
> 
> (Also please tell me somewhere out there people have made The Sound of Good Omens edits)
> 
> Oh yeah, and the fic title's from one of the songs in the Sound of Music, of course. I kinda wish they had separated the Dixit Dominus part into it's own track though: [ Overture/Preludium (Dixit Dominus)](https://youtu.be/y6t1cQdzzjY?t=159)

Heaven didn’t have a lot of entertainment options for angels. Contrary to popular belief, this wasn’t because they thought all entertainment was sinful. It was because they were so busy that they had to schedule in their leisure time lest they forget about it. Every now and then someone would remember to file a request for someone to go down to Earth and bring a new popular (and wholesome—that was important to specify after the “Questions and Commands” Incident of 1715 saw a bunch of giggling angels egging on Michael to visit Hell) pastime back with them.

The last time anyone had done that was 1965, which was why _The Sound of Music_ was still the latest and greatest film up in Heaven. The fact that the Almighty personally approved of it (at least according to the Metatron, whose words were admittedly being taken with a grain of salt after recent events) only made it better.

After the Great Plan turned out to be a flop and the war everyone had been planning for six thousand years was called off, Gabriel decided that the best way to distract everyone from their collective annoyance was to watch _The Sound of Music_. Who could possibly be angry when Julie Andrews was singing so beautifully? Not Gabriel, that was for sure.

And indeed, Gabriel sat through the first three songs with a pleasant smile on his face. The other angels couldn’t help but sing along. Everyone in Heaven knew all the songs by heart at this point. Sure, sing-along movie nights weren’t exactly the same as the choirs of bygone days, but they had the same effect. They really brought the community together. Great for morale.

But then, Gabriel started feeling strange. On the screen, the movie’s nuns began to sing about sweet Maria.

_She’s always late for Chapel_  
_But her penitence is real_  
_She’s always late for everything_  
_Except for every meal_

Humans certainly did love food. Some loved it so much that they defined themselves by that love. Angels couldn’t understand it… Except for the one that did. And Aziraphale had always been on the slow side, too. He was the only angel who had ever had to file _multiple_ extensions. Granted, his reports had always been extremely detailed, and he wrote with an enthusiasm unparalleled by any other angel, but…

_Many a thing you know you'd like to tell her_  
_Many a thing she ought to understand_  
_But how do you make her stay_  
_And listen to all you say?_  
_How do you keep a wave upon the sand?_  
_Oh, how do you solve a problem like Maria?_

But Aziraphale, whatever he was doing now, wasn’t _Gabriel’s_ problem anymore.

Gabriel tried to push any and all thoughts of Aziraphale aside and focus on the movie. It worked for a little while, until…

_Climb ev'ry mountain_  
_Ford ev'ry stream_  
_Follow ev'ry rainbow_  
_'Til you find your dream_

Damn it, but he had once quoted this very song to Aziraphale. He had meant it ironically, of course, because what Aziraphale had suggested—that they could avert the apocalypse by influencing the Antichrist—was not only ludicrous but impossible.

Except it hadn’t been either of those things. Aziraphale had gone and climbed every mountain, forded every stream, followed every one of God’s rainbows, and… Well, somehow his dream of Earth continuing to spin actually came true.

They hadn’t even been able to punish him for thwarting the Great Plan. Right now he was probably sitting somewhere comfortable eating the foodstuffs he so adored, and at his side would be the demon who stood with him. A happy couple enjoying the fruits of the world they stood up for.

It was like something out of a movie.

Gabriel tried to pay attention to what he was watching.

He watched as Maria married Captain Von Trapp, their love uniting them despite all the reasons reality should have forced them apart.

“Fuck,” he mouthed to himself.

He watched as the Nazis cruelly hunted for the Von Trapp family, and he noted just how many angels were crying by the end, when the family fled over the Alps.

“_Fuck,_” he spat.

Uriel was the first to turn to him, her expression solemn.

“Are we the Nazis, Gabriel?” she asked.

“No,” Sandalphon broke in quickly. “The Nazis are… Well, they’re bad! We’re angels; we can’t do the wrong thing!”

“Can’t we?” Michael glanced up from her phone to give Gabriel a pointed look. “Weren’t we wrong about the Great Plan all along?”

“But…” Sandalphon said. “We were just misinterpreting God’s words. This is different! She… She would have told us if we were doing something _bad._”

Gabriel regarded the other members of his team. He felt like someone had punched his corporation first in the stomach, then everywhere else.

“It’s Her favorite film,” he said gravely.

“Fuck,” Uriel whispered.

* * *

Aziraphale and Crowley were having a nice picnic lunch in the park. It was a beautiful day. Warm sun, cool breeze, not a cloud in the clear blue sky… 

Aziraphale and Crowley were a little too lost in each other to notice all those background niceties, though. The day was perfect simply because they were together.

Nothing was going to break them apart now. Which is why the second Crowley caught a glimpse of heavenly light beginning to shine behind Aziraphale, he was immediately on his feet, pulling his angel behind him. He was ready to summon Hellfire at a second’s notice.

“Do not be afraid,” Gabriel said as he appeared. Behind him, Uriel, Michael, and Sandalphon faded into existence. It was a lot less dramatic than appearing by lightning, but Crowley didn’t believe for a moment that it made them less of a threat.

“We’re not here to smite you,” Sandalphon said.

“Either of you,” Uriel clarified.

“We’re here to apologize,” Michael said.

“We are no longer the Nazis seeking to capture you,” Gabriel said. “We are the nuns who will set you free, Aziraphale.”

“Er…” Aziraphale blinked, moving over slightly. Crowley followed like he wanted to block the other angels’ view of him completely. “I’m sorry, you’re who now?”

“The nuns,” Gabriel repeated as if it made any more sense. “And we understand now that not everyone is meant for the abbey. The Almighty smiles upon those who follow their true path. We should not have tried to punish you.”

“Oh, well…” Aziraphale frowned. “I agree, I think?”

“Allow us to express our deepest feelings,” Gabriel said. 

He raised a hand, and the four messengers opened their mouths. Then, they began to sing.

_Climb ev'ry mountain_  
_Search high and low_  
_Follow ev'ry by-way_  
_Every path you know_

“Oh my—” Crowley struggled to decide whether he wanted to invoke God, Satan, or Adam here.

“Oh _my,_ indeed,” Aziraphale said.

_Climb ev'ry mountain_  
_Ford ev'ry stream_  
_Follow ev'ry rainbow_  
_'Til you find your dream_

“Ah, I see,” Aziraphale chuckled awkwardly. “Yes, you _are_ rather fond of this song, aren’t you…” 

Crowley snorted.

_A dream that will need_  
_All the love you can give_  
_Every day of your life_  
_For as long as you live_

“Well that’s very lovely and all—” Aziraphale began, but the singers were not done. The rest of the verses merely repeated the same lyrics, however.

“We trust you understand now, Aziraphale,” Gabriel said once they were (finally) finished.

Aziraphale paused. He tried to understand. This was just poetry set to music, and he did like to think that he could appreciate poetry. But… these were his heavenly superiors, and given his track record with them...

“Not really,” he said.

Crowley snorted again.

“It’s a bloody reference to _The Sound of Music,_” he said. “They’re saying you’re Maria, get it?”

“Oh, of course,” Aziraphale said, not getting it at all.

… Which Crowley realized immediately.

“Oh, _angel,_” he said. “Don’t tell me you never finished watching it.”

“I was going to get around to it,” Aziraphale said defensively. It was just that every time he got to the _Dulcedo ineffabilis, ineffabilis_ part, he’d find himself no longer in the mood to sit through a two hour and fifty-four minute film.

“I _know_ I put it on for Warlock once,” Crowley said. “It was to mock you, mostly.”

“And you think I didn’t figure that out?” Aziraphale huffed. “I was very busy in the garden that day.”

“I can’t believe,” Crowley said with a smirk, “that I’ve sat through the entirety of that insufferable movie and you haven’t.” But a moment later, he frowned. “Wait… That means that I’m the only one who knows what these…”

He glared at Gabriel.

“Archangels?” Gabriel suggested helpfully.

“_Assholes,_” Crowley corrected. “What these _assholes_ are talking about here.”

“There’s no need for that kind of language,” Michael said.

“We accept you, too, Demon,” Gabriel said. “For following your true path. The Ineffable Plan must—”

“Shut _up,_” Crowley growled in a tone he had never in all his existence used with Aziraphale. “And listen to me for a second.”

Gabriel turned to his teammates, who all nodded. He turned back to Crowley and gave him a thumbs up.

Crowley glared once more.

“Okay, look,” he said. “We’re in Switzerland, okay? We’ve already made it out of Austria, we’re past the Alps, and we’re settled in Switzerland. And frankly, you showing up here is really ruining our afternoon. Say what you want, but you _are_ our Nazis. Imagine they added another scene to the movie where the Nazis show up in Switzerland with an apology note. What kind of ending do you think that would be?”

“Uh… A bad one?” Sandalphon guessed based on the demon’s tone.

“Bingo!” Crowley sing-songed. “So how about you all head back to Austria before I do to you what I did to the real Nazis.”

“He blew them up,” Aziraphale said for context. He did not mention how romantic the whole thing was, but it was definitely on his mind now.

Crowley put an arm around Aziraphale like he was remembering the same thing.

Gabriel grinned, but it was clearly very forced.

“Very well. We’ll leave you with your Captain, Aziraphale,” he said. “Just to let you know, if you ever wed, we can also sing the processional version of ‘Maria’ for you.”

“You’re not invited to our wedding!” Crowley snapped before realizing with a flush that he’d never really brought up having one of those to Aziraphale before.

“Oh my,” Aziraphale said.

The archangels were already turning back into beams of light.

Aziraphale gave Crowley a glance-over.

“So…” he said. “About our wedding…”

“Ngk,” Crowley said.

“You do want to have one, don’t you?” Aziraphale asked, his voice wavering a little. “It doesn’t have to be all…” He glanced up Above. “It can just be, you know, for us.”

“Is that what you want?” Crowley asked, pretending to be calm.

“Oh, Crowley,” Aziraphale said, lacing their fingers together. “I only care that we’re together. But it would be nice, wouldn’t it? To have something written down, now that we don’t have to worry about who’s looking.”

“Yeah,” Crowley said. Aziraphale could probably feel his pulse at this point. “I think I’d like that.”

Aziraphale’s smile shone brighter than Heaven’s light ever could. Unbidden, a song rose in Crowley’s heart.

_Perhaps I had a wicked childhood_  
_Perhaps I had a miserable youth_  
_But somewhere in my wicked miserable past_  
_There must have been a moment of truth_  
_For here you are, standing there, loving me_  
_Whether or not you should_  
_So somewhere in my youth or childhood_  
_I must have done something good_

Crowley made a face.

“And _I’m_ not even Maria,” he muttered.

“What was that, my dear?” Aziraphale asked.

“You’re going to have to watch that movie,” Crowley said, squeezing Aziraphale’s hand. “I’m going to make you watch that movie.”

Aziraphale hummed noncommittally, squeezing Crowley’s hand in return.

It was a perfect day.


End file.
